For a long time, I felt unworthy of love and when in a relationship was plagued by fear of being abandoned.

I would overthink and seek constant reassurance but wouldn’t believe it when it was communicated! Rejection derailed me and the intensity and urgency of my need to be soothed was overwhelming for me and partners. And at times, I pushed people away, only to feel the fear of losing them even more.

This didn’t come from nowhere. My early childhood and adult experiences included loss, instability, emotional and physical abuse, being let down by services, infidelity and domestic abuse.

Over time, this shaped a deep fear of being left, and a belief that I was unloveable.. I found myself drawn to men and situations that felt familiar (read chaotic, toxic, drama!) rather than safe often with people who couldn’t meet me in the ways I needed or were abusive.

After another breakup that I couldn’t seem to move on from, I began therapy. What I came to understand was that this wasn’t just about the relationships I was in; it was about what was happening inside me and how my neurology/nervous system had been formed as a result of adverse childhood and early adult experiences. Through therapy, things began to change. Not all at once, and not perfect but steadily.

I no longer feel that same urgency to be in a relationship or sabotage my happiness. I’ve learned to trust myself and others, set boundaries, and choose relationships that feel steady, safe and secure rather than overwhelming and chaotic.

This is the work I now bring into my therapy practice; helping clients understand what’s happening beneath the surface, develop self-compassion and gently build a different way of relating.

Rooted in your healing

Angela